i'm a loser, baby

Something I am very good at is losing things.

I wrote some notes and observations on some pieces of paper and it was my intention to use this opportunity to pass these on to whoever might be interested. So now, of course, I have lost these pieces of paper and am left wondering whether such words of insight will ever return to me.

I lose things all the time. Mostly, I think it springs from chronic absent-mindedness. I will often park my car outside houses having forgotten the fact I have not lived there since the mid nineties. I lose clothes. I don’t mean socks (although, obviously these are lost on a daily basis) but jeans, winter coats, 3 piece suits. I find it hard to believe I go places and leave without my jeans. If this were the case, I imagine I’d remember the trouserless journey home.

I recently discovered that I had lost a guitar. And to entrust me with my own passport is just irresponsible on the part of Her Majesty’s government.

And once lost, most items will never resurface.

At home, this is not such a problem. My wife, Emma has skills enough for the two of us when it comes to organisation. But I am always amazed at how well I can get things lost by myself in the confines of a small car. It is my belief that with a long enough touring schedule, I could return home with nothing more than the shirt on my back – possibly not even that.

So maybe I could put my gift to the use of mankind. Maybe nuclear waste could be disposed of cheaply by giving it to me and telling me to look after it for a month on the road. A week later and it would be lost beyond the wit of any Geiger counter.
The only flaw with this is that the shit and chaff that you would throw out anyway, that’s the stuff that sticks around. I can lose a $20 bill in a second, but the business card of a Tennessee Honda dealership has crossed the Atlantic four times in the bottom of my bag.

Maybe that’s fate telling me I need to get a Honda. And If I hadn’t replaced so many lost items and dropped so many banknotes , maybe I could have bought one.